So, I have always been of the opinion that blogs are kind of douchey. Blogging, and thus bloggers, have always seemed pretentious to me. Like I want to read about what you ate for dinner last night and how you made your chicken extra juicy at dinner. Or how you wrote a fabulous e-book that I should read. Or look at pictures of your kitten Buttons sleeping in the kitchen sink. But two years ago, I experienced the culmination of an ongoing emotional trauma in the workplace. I walked out on my high-paying, fancy-pants job in business development for a large mortgage financing corporation to do…well, nothing really.
You see, as a result of the stress of my job, I was in rough shape. I had lost weight in the most unappealing ways from the anxiety of the situation. In fact, all I could eat for months after leaving my job was Dairy Queen sundaes. I would rarely sleep and if I did, I would fall into a coma-like state full of nightmares and wake up exhausted after two hours at the most. I had started getting migraines almost daily, and constant muscle tension had led to painful knots and tightness in my back and neck. I even clenched my teeth so hard during the day and at night that my teeth started cracking and falling out. I looked like a zombie; pale, almost translucent skin with huge dark circles under my bloodshot eyes. My hair was limp and lifeless if I bothered to style it (or even brush it for that matter), I lived in hoodies, and sometimes I wouldn’t even leave the house for days on end (aside for the odd DQ run).
I didn’t really know what to do. I had been climbing the corporate ladder at my company at a steady pace for the previous six years and, despite the intensity of my work situation, had no plans to leave the job. I had suddenly become jobless, purposeless, pointless, useless, listless. And so confused. What had happened, and why had it happened to me? What did I do wrong? My confidence and sense of self had been completely shattered. I grieved for the loss of the job and the money and status that came with it. But most of all I grieved for the loss of myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore; the confident, happy, succesful person I knew was gone.
The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months. I had some distractions: a small business I had been running for a few years from my home, the birth of my first niece, and my sister’s wedding. I could force myself to get up and perform the most basic of tasks, although the hair was still a mess. I tried to take the advice of my friends and family to think positively. What you think about you bring about! I put good thoughts out into the universe; I watched Oprah. I read terrible self-help books and saw a therapist. But ultimately, the universe knew that I thought it was all a bunch of bullshit.
That’s when I decided to fuck thinking positively, and start thinking hilariously. Everybody has heard the adage that laughter is the best medicine, and it is true that laughter causes physical and chemical reactions in the body that make us feel good. When I focused on finding the humor in everyday life, my perspective changed dramatically. Events that might have previously been frustrating or depressing became hilarious. Sometimes I would see things during my day and I couldn’t wait to tell people about it to share the laughter. And on days when things really weren’t very funny at all, I would think about some of the crazy things that have happened to me in the past or check out crazy YouTube videos in order to get the laughs in.
As someone who has always loved writing, I wanted to write for my own enjoyment, but also for the enjoyment of others. Since changing my life philosophy, I decided to start this blog as a way to share some of the stories that have helped me during my own healing process. Some stories will be about my family, who seems to experience a higher than normal amount of the bizarre. Some will be about perfect strangers I have observed in weird situations. Some stories will be gross, some random, and some from the past. I’ll also post some of my go-to online favorites as well as new funny stuff I stumble upon. But hopefully all of them will give you at least a bit of a smile if you’re feeling shitty.
And yes, the stories about me, my friends, and my family are real. You just can’t make shit like that up.